I think I am finally at a point where I can say I am over, or at least mostly over and beyond, my feelings for Elaniah. Sometimes I will see something or hear a song that triggers feelings of loss and rage, but generally I think I can say that she is out of my mind and more or less completely out of my life.

Got a raise at work last month. It's really not very much--in fact it's the bare minimum I would have accepted without quitting outright, but it is enough that it is less for me to worry about with my day-to-day expenses while I keep scouring the job market for something better in my field. It's slim pickings to be sure, but I'm determined to keep looking at least for another few years before I give up hope.

In other news still kicking myself over the situation with Esprit. I had not realized my opportunity to pursue a relationship until after the fact (when it was no longer a plausible option); why I never gave it real consideration at the time is anyone's guess. Maybe I thought that she wouldn't have even considered it; maybe I was enjoying the status quo enough to not think about moving it to something more. Regardless, I'm a damn fool and dealing with the consequences.

New Year, Same Rhetoric

2011 is in full swing now, with this being the third full week of the year. I have already submitted a resumé to boot--for a non-profit you may or may not have heard of called the Child's Play Charity. It isn't radio, but it is a full-time job with benefits and requires skills I am confident that I have, namely in dealing with people and working under stress with a need for good time-management.

On the radio front, the rhetoric I am hearing from above is the same. The industry is still in a rough spot, but if the numbers are good I can probably look forward to a small raise along with everyone else. Which would be fine and dandy if I wasn't making minimum wage and working the kind of hours I do that all but exclude having any kind of contact with people in a social context. As my parents would say, "At least I have a job," which is true but really very little comfort.

I got a contact through my father for a gentleman down in Madison that allegedly has some connections to some of the radio stations down there. It's a larger market, which is certainly a plus, and might prove to be that next step I'm looking for in my career. I suppose I shall find out when I get in touch with him later.