I'm finding stability again, although I still have work to do. Honestly, steady work would actually be a great help (and a great improvement) over the swing shifts I have been working the last month and a half. A third-shift sleep schedule is not conducive to working weekend mornings--just saying.
Just did my yearly culling of Facebook friends, and found some small satisfaction that very few people were cut. Tells me that my personal web is more secure, and that I am getting to the point of really defining what "friend" means in this new digital era of constant information exchange. Sure, I have separate settings for people I don't feel like sharing everything with, but it isn't quite the same, is it? Perhaps it is in controlling people's ability to Facebook-stalk me, or perhaps just me being older than my skin and wanting my digital definition of the word "friend" to be a little more representative of the old-fashioned and real-world definition.
I'm still at a loss for what to do on the female front. The male in me yearns for its counterpart, that delicate dance of service and protection and love that makes my blood sing. The pragmatist in me reminds me that Eau Claire is just a step; if I want to actually make a decent living and a decent wage I need to accept that I will be moving sooner rather than later to a city that realistically will not be nearby, which would put incredible strain on a relationship should I choose to start one. Which of course leaves only the romantic, the dreamer, the idealist. I keep putting off registering on eHarmony or another online-dating site. Fear of... fear of hope, I suppose. Part of me as yet does not want to believe that there is a woman--dare I say a Queen--out there that I am worthy of being bound to romantically, despite the claims of some of my female friends that I am a good man who deserves an equally good woman. Maybe I still need some more healing.
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