Bachelor Returns

Well I am officially single again. Not necessarily through the means I would have liked, but the same outcome regardless. The other positive note is that Jessi and I both agree that we're probably better off this way--as friends.

I also think I'm going to get back to work on my novel. I haven't touched it in over a year, and I really should sit down and do it. I might even do that tonight after work... unless I end up hanging out with someone else. >.<

Well I think I'm long overdue for an update on here, what do you think? I think I'll have to get back in the habit of trying to post on here at least once a week. A little routine is always a good thing. Speaking of things I need to do, here is a small list of things I'm going to try to get done before classes start:

• Get a tattoo
• Start lifting/working out again
• Order parts for the computer I'm going to build
• Get a 2nd job in the Eau Claire area that won't conflict with my class schedule

Okay, so I'm sure there's some other stuff, but this is all I can think of right now. Basically the point is that I need to motivate myself a little more. Unfortunately, I can't really count on my current girlfriend to help motivate me, so it'll have to come from the depths of my dark little soul. Now, where did I put that...

Bum Bum Bum!!

Well, I suppose it's official now: Tina hates my guts. I don't know what the fuck I did, but I'm not going to spend hours/days trying to figure it out.

In other news, Aerthos (aka yours truly) needs to get his arse out and start applying at the various drinking establishments in town to see if he can get a job as a bartender. Knowing Eau Claire like I do, that would be some really nice cash--and it wouldn't conflict with classes OR working at Wilson's. Well, aside from less sleep; but I can handle that!! =D

Update and Heartache

I just rolled into Wisconsin Rapids about 10 minutes ago. For those of you not on Central time, it's about midnight right now. I'm tired, but the heartache I have isn't going to let me go to bed. So I'm going to update my select few readers on my fucked up and poor excuse for a life and just cry my heart out a little bit.

My last post of any real substance was two months ago. *Sigh* Well, shortly after that Tina and I did some talking, and it was more or less established that the odds of us being together romantically when she got back from Scotland were slim to none. Which was fine, I guess, at the time because I had been making more friends around campus and I figured we'd still be able to hang out as friends when she got back. Then there was the joy that is the last month of the semester, which is absolute hell--especially when you have a class that you need to graduate and you're not sure if you're even going to pass it or not. Plus tons of essays for other classes. Lots and lots of stress. My apologies for anybody that tried to get ahold of me via IM during those last few weeks (I was "Away" just about 24/7). On top of that I had to be completely moved out of my apartment the day after finals. So after finals I spent the next week with my uncle about an hour north of Eau Claire. Since then (approximately May 27-ish) I've gotten the vast majority of my stuff moved into my apartment, save a few odds and ends. But, since I left my old apartment I have been without a home internet, therefore no IM for Matt until he gets that resolved.

... Right now I'm really just hating life. I'm depressed as hell and I really shouldn't be. I'm dating a girl that loves me (and whom I love)... I even have another friend that I know wants to date me... but every day I get the feeling that the one woman I want to be with wants nothing to do with me anymore. And it breaks my heart. Even though we never officially dated, whenever I was with her I felt something I just haven't felt with Jessi. *Sigh* I just don't understand anything anymore... my own heart, who I have always listened to, no longer has any answers. Not to be melodramatic, but I honestly think that a part of me has died.

To the few who check this blog, my sincerest apologies for not updating it in far too long. Unfortunately, you will have to wait a bit longer for a substantial post. Even with classes out and much stress gone, I do not yet have internet at my apartment. Thus, a full update will come once that final hurdle is remedied. Until then, stay cool.