Update and Heartache

I just rolled into Wisconsin Rapids about 10 minutes ago. For those of you not on Central time, it's about midnight right now. I'm tired, but the heartache I have isn't going to let me go to bed. So I'm going to update my select few readers on my fucked up and poor excuse for a life and just cry my heart out a little bit.

My last post of any real substance was two months ago. *Sigh* Well, shortly after that Tina and I did some talking, and it was more or less established that the odds of us being together romantically when she got back from Scotland were slim to none. Which was fine, I guess, at the time because I had been making more friends around campus and I figured we'd still be able to hang out as friends when she got back. Then there was the joy that is the last month of the semester, which is absolute hell--especially when you have a class that you need to graduate and you're not sure if you're even going to pass it or not. Plus tons of essays for other classes. Lots and lots of stress. My apologies for anybody that tried to get ahold of me via IM during those last few weeks (I was "Away" just about 24/7). On top of that I had to be completely moved out of my apartment the day after finals. So after finals I spent the next week with my uncle about an hour north of Eau Claire. Since then (approximately May 27-ish) I've gotten the vast majority of my stuff moved into my apartment, save a few odds and ends. But, since I left my old apartment I have been without a home internet, therefore no IM for Matt until he gets that resolved.

... Right now I'm really just hating life. I'm depressed as hell and I really shouldn't be. I'm dating a girl that loves me (and whom I love)... I even have another friend that I know wants to date me... but every day I get the feeling that the one woman I want to be with wants nothing to do with me anymore. And it breaks my heart. Even though we never officially dated, whenever I was with her I felt something I just haven't felt with Jessi. *Sigh* I just don't understand anything anymore... my own heart, who I have always listened to, no longer has any answers. Not to be melodramatic, but I honestly think that a part of me has died.

To the few who check this blog, my sincerest apologies for not updating it in far too long. Unfortunately, you will have to wait a bit longer for a substantial post. Even with classes out and much stress gone, I do not yet have internet at my apartment. Thus, a full update will come once that final hurdle is remedied. Until then, stay cool.

It's so hairy!

It's starting to get a little scraggly in places, but I still haven't shaven. And actually, this picture is neat because I was a little tired, so my one eye is open a little more than the other... which I think helps to kind of hint at the madness that is me. Or something deep and philosophical like that.

Sleep for Thought

So apparently sleep is great for organizing your thoughts, 'cause I just woke up a little while ago and I thought of all the stuff I could have told you in my last post. =P So here's some of the stuff that's been happening:

• SRI is now on campus cable! Students in the residence halls at the university can now turn to channel 75 on their televisions and listen to WSRI/SRI-75. Pretty sweet, huh? So this last week was the kick-off of our ad campaign, with chalking and word of mouth. This week will include articles in publications around campus.
• Got some questions answered after some [bad] excitement last night. Long story short, my one roommate (Shanna) hasn't really been living here for the last few months because my other roommate (Heather) has been freaking out about windows being open (now that it's actually nice outside?) and about the parties our neighbors have had every single weekend. So... answered some of my questions, and basically Shanna and I both said that we'll be glad to move out.
• I think the semester is finally starting to speed up. Perhaps it's because I know that I only have like five weeks before I can hold Tina in my arms again. Not that I'm counting. ^^;
• Movies! I added movies to my collection this semester. Lucky titles include: Risky Business, Gremlins and Gremlins 2: The New Batch, and Murder at 1600. I also saw V for Vendetta in the theater. Totally awesome movie! And I promise I'll get my review for it up on the website by the middle of this week.

So I'm basically just killing time 'cause I'm not tired right now. I don't really have any amazing updates. I guess I'm just a little un-amazing. =P But just so this post isn't a complete waste of space I will list one of my favorite reasons for wearing a kilt:

• People clear a path for you when you walk.