Shakira

YUMMY. 'nuff said.

Good Memories

Elaniah called me this morning. Even though I hadn't slept well, I quickly remembered how much I love talking to her. Someone who so acutely and intuitively knows what I'm thinking and understands how I'm feeling; it is an experience I hope everyone gets to experience at some point in their lives--even if, as it was for me, things don't quite work out as you hoped in the end.

It was also a reminder for me that when life gets crazy, when you don't know what to do or what the world has in store for you... good memories keep you going. They tell us that life has its ups and downs, and that every good memory is worth three bad ones. I suppose it just serves as evidence that "Good memories can save your life."

A Short Rant

Some of you reading this might not understand. That's fine--I don't feel the need to explain the following post.

Ever have one of those days, or even moments where all you really want to do is have sex? Fucking annoying as hell, isn't it? Son of a bitch.

Final Fantasy LIVE

Wow, it really has been some time since I've updated. So I'll try to fill you in on everything that's changed.

The equinox came and went rather uneventfully. Due mostly in part to the timing, I chose not to host a celebration of the changing of the seasons this year. To be honest, I don't know if I even would have held one regardless since I don't know who I would invite that would be interested in coming over. I can only think of maybe 3-4 people I would ask--and they may or may not show up. MOVING ON

During what the college folks refer to as Spring Break, I flew down to Jamaica for five days. Yep, Jamaica--Bob Marley, gange, jerk chicken--the same. I was not all that impressed. The country (from what we saw) relies very heavily on tourism, which only depressed me seeing the state of some of the homes. That and the fact that people were trying to sell me weed twice every block if I left the hotel led to me not enjoying myself so much. I told many people when I got back that I would have much rather spent the time relaxing here in Eau Claire or camping in the woods.

Most recently Chase and I attended an orchestral concert in Minneapolis. All of the music they played was from the Final Fantasy video game series, which was orchestrated by Nobuo Uematsu. Due to a mistake in reading the ticket we showed up a half hour into the show, but still got to hear many classic songs from the series. Of particular interest was that Nobuo was at the concert as well! Very cool.

SNAP!

I'm sure you've been there. Life is crazy and you're juggling things in your day-to-day life... and then something happens. Some little thing... and you snap. You explode and break down (like some people I know) or you just want to destroy the world (like some other people I know). Tonight was the latter.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem. I would put on some appropriate music, mix up a nice strong drink, and just let fuckin' loose. But I can't do that when I'm at work. I have to maintain my fragile grip on sanity when I want nothing more than to destroy something, and be the jovial radio jock on-air.

Fucking fuck fuck.

Where the F*ck Are All the Zombies?

Hollywood, of course. And on the web, with neat browser-based games like UrbanDead. It's been one of my new addictions since this last November, and convenient because you can really only invest so much time into it in a day because of the way the game is structured. Great for crazy gamers like myself who dive right in!

In other news, I picked up another (3rd) job as a trivia host for Team Trivia. A couple nights a week I'll basically be hosting trivia at area bars/restaurants where people can play for the chance to win a $10/$25/$50 gift card for that establishment. Great idea, and totally free for people who want to play. And it's pretty good pay for what amount to about 3 hours of work for me per show. With any luck, it'll help make me feel a little more human by actually having money in my pocket after paying bills.

A Year of News

So it's been a few months. I picked up a second job over the holidays, but I haven't gotten any hours there in the last few weeks. So I'm essentially back to just the one job at the radio station. A new president is in the White House, and one that I elected and actually believe will do something positive for the country. A college friend is getting deployed to Iraq, and my cousin is being re-deployed. So many changes, and yet nothing changes. The clock of time keeps ticking, and the river of life keeps flowing.

The last two lines there really kind of sum up my general feeling of late. Despite what sometimes are the best of intentions, I seem to keep ending up right where I started with relatively little change. Then again, perhaps that is taking too narrow of a perspective. What might be required is nothing more than stepping back further and looking at life's progression over a course of years instead of months.

I have--more or less--made a few unofficial resolutions for the year. Although, of course, by labelling them as such I have probably doomed them to complete and utter failure. But I certainly hope not.

One thing I've noticed about myself is that I am very much more of a thinker than I am a do-er. I will gladly spend a great many hours and even days contemplating something, but then I become reluctant when it comes to actually doing it. Whereas the thinking comes freely, the actual act requires motivation. In the same vein, I seem to be rather spotty with actually finishing things I start, for one reason or another. I realized this the other night when I looked at my not-so-small video game collection and realized how few of them I had actually beaten. But this applies to a number of other endeavors and pastimes of mine, from reading to writing and more. So one thing I will wholeheartedly be working on this year is [completely] finishing things I start, and wrapping up loose ends with things I started in years previously.

The other troubling thing that has come to my attention is that I do not practice my faith as much as I used to. I quietly observe days when previously I took the time out of my day for a short ceremony and meditation. And I certainly do not meditate with any real frequency anymore. I note this because I would not claim to be as cheerful or happy as I was even a few years ago when I still practiced a little bit. So my other goal this year is to resume practicing my faith in the calm, unobtrusive way that I once did.