Chaos and balance

Have you ever noticed that as chaotic as life, or any situation in life, may become that there is always that one thing that keeps things in balance in your head...that thing that keeps you going? (Have you noticed that I ask a lot of rhetorical questions in these Memoirs?? =P) For example, my life is literally just chaos right now (or pretty close to it). I have:

• Wilson's Leather
• School (which includes homework, uncertainty about my major)
• Looking for a 2nd/3rd job
• Working towards a radio internship
• SRI (being both a DJ and the Music Director)
• Living with the passive/aggresive roomies

I think those are the major things. Still, amongst all this chaos, there remains two things that keep me going. Okay, maybe three.

1. My dreams
2. My friends & family (they count as one =D)
3. Last, but perhaps most important: Tina

And I know that she doesn't want me to say this, but I just don't want to wait for you to get back, Tina. For just so many reasons I can't begin to list them all, but I can say that just holding her in my arms is at the very top. She is my motivation to keep on rolling with the punches academically and financially this semester... because I know that in the span of just over two months that will go by as slowly for me as they will quickly for her (since she's in Scotland!!! I want to go back) we will be able to be together again.

Okay, so I'm in my News Reporting lab and probably shouldn't be blogging right now, but hey, this class is boring anyways. I just have to say that I'm STILL excited and giddy over last night. Tina called me totally by surprise from Scotland last night. I was all smiles after hearing her voice. I'm still smiling just thinking about it=D Anywho, I'll blog more later. I should get back to actually doing something resembling work before the prof yells at me =P

Driving and Bushido

I HATE STUPID PEOPLE! ...Yeah. Sorry, it's just been one of those days when you're amazed of the number of people that [in theory] are licensed to drive. Ever have those days? Don't you just wish you had guns on the front of your car so you could eliminate these people from the roads and/or the gene pool? That's the kind of day it's been for me... at least in terms of driving.
In other news, I always get people asking me to tell them about Bushido--especially when they ask what kind of tatoo I'm getting. I've posted it in other blogs before, but (as usual) I found a great source of [believe it or not] amazingly accurate information that is written simple enough for the common man to read. The source? Dungeons & Dragons. As such, here is the D&D description of Bushido:
Bushido Bushido is the code of the samurai from ancient Japan. Many books have been written about how a samurai should live, including the Go Rin No Sho (Book of Five Rings) and the Hagakure. According to one version of the code, a samurai must possess the following seven virtues. Gi (honesty and justice): A samurai deals openly and honestly with others and cleaves to the ideal of justice. Moral decisions do not come in shades of grey, only right and wrong. Yu (heroic courage): A samurai never fears to act, but lives life fully and wonderfully. Respect and caution replace fear. Jin (compassion): A samurai takes every opportunity to aid others, and creates opportunities when they do not arise. As a powerful individual, a samurai has a responsibility to use that power to help others. Rei (polite courtesy): A samurai has no reason to be cruel, and no need to prove his strength. Courtesy distinguishes a samurai from an animal, and reveals one's true strength. Meyo (honor): A samurai's conscience is the judge of his honor. The decisions he makes and how he carries them out are a reflection of his true nature. Makoto (complete sincerety): When a samurai says that he will perform an action, it is as good as done. He need not make promises; speaking and doing are as if the same. Chugo (duty and loyalty): A samurai feels responsible for his actions and their consequences, and loyal to the people in his care. A samurai's loyalty to his lord is unquestionable and unquestioning. Hopefully this clarifies any questions those of you reading this blog may still have about Bushido. This is an accurate version of the code; this is the code I strive to follow every day.

Romanticism, Perfection, and Beauty

An interesting dicussion was had in my British Romanticism course today, discussing Edward Burke's A Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of Our Ideas of the Sublime and the Beautiful. In describing what Burke meant in terms of defining beauty, the professor was initially confused by my interpretation--but intrigued at the philosophy of what I said. Simply put, what I said was thus, "As humans we seek and see beauty in perfection; yet in one another we see perfection in imperfection." Think about that for a moment. In fact, I'll even tighten it up for you. "There is perfection in imperfection." What initially seems like an oxymoron is true, in a serendipity sort of way. Because by acknowledging the imperfections in another, their "better" qualities shine all the brighter. Another saying that might help you to understand this logic is "Without pain, would we really appreciate pleasure?" A very philosophical topic, is it not? Anybody who wishes to reflect a little (or at length) by all means indulge yourself and share your thoughts with me.

Pain

"Pain is weakness leaving the body." ~Random military douche

"Pain is good, it let's you know you're alive." ~Anonymous

"Pain helps us to better appreciate pleasure." ~Anonymous

"Pain: An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder." ~Dictionary.com

My right shoulder hurts like a sonofabitch right now, and I have no idea why. My best guess is [possibly] overextending while changing a light bulb at work earlier tonight. All I know for certain is that it hurts like mad, and light massage doesn't seem to help any. I have financial pain aplenty (as most college students do). Especially so this semester, as I spent almost $200 on books. So Matt needs to do some penny pinching so he'll still have the money to build his computer this spring/summer. He also needs the money so he can get his tatoo. ~*Sigh*~ No real emotional pain to speak of--longing would be a much better term. Tina has been in Scotland three days now; it's been almost two weeks since I last held her in my arms. I think about her constantly when my attention isn't intently focused on something else. She is like that sliver of sunshine that draws your attention from the corner of your eye while you're driving. Not that I am calling Tina an unwanted distraction--far from it. I feel safe saying that meeting and coming to know Tina, and now having feelings for Tina has been one of the best things that's ever happened for me. Well, my shoulder is seriously bugging the shit out of me now, and I need to head up to the SRI meeting anyways. Peace and painkillers to all.

Okay, so I'm not going to lie. I'm as tired as a horse that's been running cross-country all damn day chasing somebody because the dude on my back is kicking me in the sides. I'm drained. Tina leaves for Scotland tomorrow. I feel like I don't need to even say anything more than that, but I also know that if I don't that you probably don't know what the hell I'm talking about. Does that make any sense? ~Chuckles~ Probably not. I haven't shaved since I last saw Tina on 21 January. I told her the other night that I'm not going to shave until I see her again after she gets back from Scotland. Here's what I look like as of 1 February: Heavens only know what I'll look like in May when she gets back. Probably like a bum off the street! ~Laughs~ It's only 0015, but I am just so seriously beat that I am going to bed. Peace.